Winter

December 22, 2019

Ariana Durling

Winter solstice has just passed, the holiday season is in full swing and periods of joyfulness, gratefulness are intermittently intertwined with melancholy and outright sadness.

They say sometimes people who have had great suffering can create the most inspiring works. I believe this is true, for at least those who can give a voice to their trauma and heartache. It seems as many find ways to bury it, cover it in activity and action. Theodore Roosevelt is historically one who just kept busy to fend off his sadness. Of course most of his actions were productive, most generally we are not as lucky to have those means. Often times we find ourselves suffering from our own turmoils instead of releasing them.

I feel guilty comparing my own self induced stressors to those who endured trauma at the hands or words of others. I do realize the great difference between these, and I have great compassion and empathy for anyone who has suffered in these ways. I do not ever intend to trivialize or belittle their experiences or the ways they coped. I only use my own experience to tell my own story. And I urge everyone to keep in mind that perception is reality…each one of us approaches this reality from a different angle, with different and varying skills in which to cope, manage, and heal.

So even as I tend to have found a sense of calm and peace in my life, the past still creeps in around my tools I have used to “let go” and live in the present moment. The insecurities of a young girl who felt she never quite measured up to her parents expectations, the fears of a young professional treading water in a new and demanding career, the guilt of a mother whose infant deals with health issues….

So over time the dabbling with yoga, meditation, spiritual readings, all led me to learn and become certified in hypnotherapy.

And I can say I finally found the tool that can make all the difference to me. I find that as I use self hypnosis I connect with my Higher Self and my Higher Power at a much deeper and meaningful level. Rare is a day that I can not do self hypnosis and return myself to a more grateful and mindful self.

But holidays are hard I admit. So many close to me stress in these days, the air is heavy with it and negativity thrives when joy should be first and foremost. I miss “the old times” of visiting relatives and enjoying drop in visits with friends- but those days are non-existent. People do not like drop ins anymore. They fear their house is not clean enough, they are too busy to stop what they are doing and join in conversation. The visits, cards, catching up happens in cyberspace now. The need or want for face to face contact is dwindling. It makes me sad.

Mostly I ache to hear the laughter and see the smiles of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, my dad and friends who passed into the next chapter before us. So I find myself going deep into trance and focusing on one person, one sight, one voice, one scent…..and it can leave me joyful. I was so blessed to have had such love in my life. I never lost the love. It most certainly remains- so I choose to let go of the sadness. I know that our souls will somehow pass by each other again.

So for anyone struggling this holiday, know that if you can quiet the noise around you, you can slow down the constant noises inside you too. Practice this, seek it out. If only for moments at a time. Breathe in slowly, breathe out even slower. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Do not rush. Settle into comfort, settle in to calmness. Soon you can visualize whomever you need, or just spend some precious alone time.

We are all in this together, yet traveling our own unique paths. I pray you feel safe on your path, can be at joy, and have peace in your heart.