Pandemic

By: Ariana Durling 4/14/2020

So here we are living through history. Some day, years from now there will be a documentary that reviews the start, timelines, economic and social affects of the 2020 Pandemic. I imagine hearing a strong, yet very moving voice narrating the the text. It bringing the emotional strain when needed, the dramatic and cliff hanging pauses when needed. I can see the photos of hospital ER rooms, mass graves, funny memes about homeschooling all flashed on the screens as descendants of the survivors gaze in wonderment of how it all happened and how we as a society survived. And we will survive. Just as the Spanish flu pandemic, the Great Depression, the Dust Bowl, 911, the countless wars/conflicts that besieged society- yet all, in some way forever changed the way we live.

As I endure the stay at home order here in Michigan, I continue my walks in nature as I typically enjoy whenever I can, especially when I need to unwind. Staying home doing nothing, not attending work, social events, family gatherings and other activities would in all logic be relaxing and free of stress, right? Well there in lies the problem that millions are now struggling with. Work gives us purpose, structure. Some people define themselves by their careers even. I can’t say I do. I have been slowly backing away from my career in nursing for the last 5 years at least. Choosing my path in natural healing as a Reiki practitioner and Hypnotherapist instead. Recreating myself, as most of you know from reading previous passages. But I still find myself strained a bit during this. Longing to be with clients who need me. Clients who want the reassurance of self healing . Initially as the stay at home orders began I was sick. I had bronchitis, which followed many of the symptoms of Covid-19. I admit I was a bit nervous I may have contracted the virus. I even had fleeting thoughts of not wanting this to be my last hurrah… I did not want to be a statistic of this period in time. (Not that any of us do.) I quarantined myself away from my son as much as possible and after a series of meds, pushing fluids, rest and weeks of energy healing and prayers, I emerged exhausted but fever free.

So maybe I started my stay at home later than most, missing it while sick so it didn’t seem as bad for me at the start. Now as the weeks roll by, I too feel myself yearning to be “free” but know that the need for social distancing looms as the hospital systems fear the influx of sickness they are not prepared to treat. So I seek my stress relieving solitude in nature as I typically do. My walk takes me to our bridge that crosses Bean Creek. The water is flowing quite quickly as it passes due to heavy rains in the night. I sit to relax and meditate as my gaze is drawn to the decaying stump of a willow tree on the opposite side of the creek. I have often visited this place. The tree was partially standing when I first moved here over 25 years ago, but has since broken down, been chain sawed off some to ensure it didn’t damage the bridge as it died and succumbed to gravity. And today it really moved me, I mean to my very core. This tree must have been around at least 150+ years. It’s base diameter is at least 6 feet and it still 10 feet high now as it stands in it’s last days. It provides homes for many critters and seems to stand proudly as an elder to it’s woodland subjects.

My imagination ran wild now, as I saw it as a young tree gaining hold along the banks of the small creek. Fighting the raging spring floods, reaching towards the sun through the other trees shade. And as it grew into a huge and mighty willow that went untouched by beavers, or axes, drinking the fresh waters the creek provided. It saw all the animals living there, possibly even the days bobcats, wolves, wolverines, and bear inhabited this land. Natives and travelers may have used it as a direction aid as it stood so large and above others. But then I think- it may not have been so noble, as many trees were huge before logging. Man changed the landscape as he moved along. Maybe he was spared because his his trunk was so large, twisted and his roots so close along the water. He was one of the lucky, he survived. And this is how we will feel. Or at least we should.

I do not attempt to debate the economic implications of all this, or the many opinions on how this pandemic was handled politically, medically or socially. I leave that to the ones who will look upon the facts, sift through it and report it from all perspectives. Right now I imagine my willow tree living through the Spanish flu, wondering if it had any human come to it in that time, seeking solitude and protection from the contact of humans. I just know that we are having to face some things we don’t like. As a society we don’t like to be told what to do, we are free after all aren’t we? Yet we have a need to protect our society, the weakest in the herd if you will, from things that may harm them. Sadly, this virus has taken some of the strongest also, not just the weak. But we rally and slow the spread, so that we may still have our grandparents to go to for advice, we may have our neighbors and friends for as long as possible.

I can’t say a bit of fear and sadness hasn’t engulfed me-it has. I have wept several times. Wept for my friends on the frontline, the dead, those losing businesses and dreams. I wept as I prayed to keep my family safe, as I continue to pray daily for their safety. I wept as I sat near my willow stump thinking about all the changes it has seen, and all the changes that are coming now. My tears ran freely, my fears were strong. I allowed them to flow and imagined as they flowed to the creek waters……carried away, washed away. I stated all my fears to myself and allowed them to also be swept away in the turbulent waters as they passed. Placing them each back into the hands of a higher power. I asked that they be acknowledged and allowed to be set free from my heart…and they were-for now.

I know these are hard days. I know we can get through them. I want to offer my ideas for this. Limit your exposure to all the anger, fears, differing opinions surrounding this when you feel overwhelmed. Listen to reliable sources on staying healthy and safe only. Just focus on keeping yourself mentally and emotionally strong, especially if you have children to keep motivated or engaged. Encourage those around you to engage in activities that do not involve TV, tablets, electricity for sometime during each day. Reach out to people on how to calm yourself, your fears and emotions. So many of us practitioners are willing to do guided meditations or just talk you through difficult times via the phone or computer. Now is the time we are being tested to see how well we can love ourselves….and it is one hard exam to say the least. But you can do it. We all have a special reason for being here, living in this time.

My tree offers me some comfort, as it survived through so much. I have a pang of jealousy as I consider the solemn freedom my tree had when it lived. It stood alone but very much a part of the “community” around it. Never leaving it’s spot, yet having it’s place in this world. I feel that is what I am right now, in my place, yet part of a bigger picture. It survived to be majestic among the others. I look forward to emerging as a stronger being.

May peace and light follow each and every one of of you today and always. Blessings.