Paths

7/18/2020 Ariana Durling

I have always been enthralled with paths. The paths made by animals and humans through shrubs, grasses, woods,or snow. The ones chosen for the shortest distance, the most beautiful scenery, the ones for productivity as in historical context. Once made, they can last forever and be used by tons, or find themselves abandoned to become overgrown, covered and lost to only memories.

As a child I played imaginary games, acting out scenes as some character on a great quest or adventure. Most of these were played out either in our family’s barn, or on the surrounding property. Much of my time was spent in the hedgerows and tree lines, or woods. There in the growth was a maze of criss-crossing paths made my the many inhabitants there. I can still see the most prominent ones in my mind’s eye…the ones I loved and returned to often.

One such path passed through a thick batch of bushes that had a flat topped rock in the middle. As a young girl I could easily slip into this area and sit on that rock. It was my own thinking spot, my fort, my hiding spot from the rest of the world. It was here I day dreamed, I lamented, I sang, I cried. I grew to love the paths and always wanted to follow them all. And as with any of our childhood games, I eventually grew out of this imaginary stage. The path I borrowed from nature was in my past.

I visited my childhood home recently and saw that same area. The rock remains, still in the middle of a thick bush, yet smaller. No path is evident. The terrain is now almost 50 years aged since my escapades there, but it still looks the same as I see it as it was then. And I long for those days of carefree daydreaming. My “problems” of those days so trivial to me now. I enjoy my visit back in time. I know how blessed I was to have had such a good childhood.

Looking back at my growth, I wish I hadn’t wanted to try every path. As I got older I found my head turning in too many directions. Each path promising the best of life, each time I would get going good my eyes would catch something “better”, something I wanted, or “needed” more. So I would abruptly switch paths and continue on AGAIN.

The problem here is I never let myself find where the path may have led. I often took a path crowded and with many ruts. I was swept into paths by others, instead of following my own heart,which wasn’t given the time to gaze down any path long enough to know which one was best. Eventually when I allowed my heart to start looking, it found I had become lost in a labyrinth of paths.

Now the trick to finding one’s way back onto the “right” path is simple it seems. Just sit quietly, look inward. Be easy on yourself and go back to when you allowed your heart to lead. And you can. And it will. Accept there isn’t always the “right” path, but there are better ones for your greatest good.

I sometimes lament over the time I wasted. But then I remind myself I am here, now from the paths I chose. I chuckle because I imagine my life path as a scribble on a page and the direction not discernible. But it was my path, my journey and I am not ashamed of it. Amazingly I look back and can see joy even on the darkest paths.

These days are hard. We are in the middle of a world pandemic. It is scary, confusing, and conflicted. Our paths are sometimes blocked or severed. The obstacles may be frightening and difficult. Just remember to slow down. Close your eyes so you aren’t looking down all the wrong paths. Look inward. Allow your heart to look down a few paths. And if you start down a path remember….you can always turn around.

I hope you are all finding yourselves on the “right” path. I wish each one of you health and happiness along your path. And may your path bring peace to your heart.