Waiting

11/1/2020 Ariana Durling

So this morning I took my usual walk along the creek. I can’t say I do this everyday, but it is not uncommon for me to enjoy some solitude in nature, especially in the mornings as it is my favorite time to meditate, pray, and reflect. I so enjoyed seeing the leaves floating about as they were falling from the trees, either spontaneously or torn by the increasing winds prevalent this morning. The wind was coming from the southwest, which attempted to make the flow of Bean Creek go eastward in places, but along the edges one could plainly see the current carrying leaves with it to the west. It was light, but not sunny, as a line of thick clouds and a storm had just passed through…leaving blue skies above me….and a very dark black skyline to the east covering the sun as it rose.

Making my way to our clover field, I could see the sun more prevalent and noticed its rays emanating from behind the darkness, piercing the sky making several different shades of blue, gray, purple along the clouds edges. I sat on a bench and waited. Waited for the sun to finally emerge…triumphant to shine as the clouds were pushed past by the winds. And as I sat there in my 3D world, watching the weather as if a picture, I realized how much of our lives we spend waiting. Just waiting.

When we are young we are eager, we anticipate the times that bring us joy…bring us love and feelings of belonging. We wait for the next birthday, the next celebration. We wait for summer break from school. We wait to be able to drive ourselves around, we constantly wait to be “old enough”.

As we age we continue our waits. We wait for our kids to emerge from school buildings, from sporting events, from friends homes. We sit in rooms waiting for an interview, for a doctors appointment, for a test. We stand in lines to purchase goods, see concerts, buy food. We pause at stop signs and lights, traffic jams and parking lots. I ponder exactly how much of our lives is waiting.

The best part about waiting is it can be used for our best interest. Waiting shouldn’t be viewed as an inconvenience, but rather an opportunity. An opportunity to be mindful, to be aware, for self talk and inner reflection. Sadly this tends not to be the case. We allow our wait to cause anxiety because we have schedules, lists of things that need to be accomplished and the wait is getting in the way….and we get upset, pace, try to find ways to quicken the wait if possible. Ultimately it does little good. Most things are beyond our control, and we only cause ourselves emotional, physical and spiritual damage by allowing the stress to take over our waits.

When my son was 11 months old we needed to take him to therapy three times a week. This continued through his kindergarten year. The drive was about 60 minutes one way. He was at therapy approximately 3 hours and then typically would need to eat. So after stopping to make sure he ate, and then driving home, the trip was usually at least 6 hours or more. His doctor appointments were with specialists and there was typically long wait times at those offices. I think this allowed me to become a more patient waiter, as I really had no choice. My husband had always been a patient person. He could nap anywhere and this came in good use in later years when he took him to college and would sleep in the car while he waited for the shorter class times.

But waiting didn’t bother us because we learned to use it wisely. I often carried books, word games, writing tools with me to pass the time. If my husband and I both went we used it as much needed date night, time to talk and confer. I began then later to use the time to meditate, pray or just be aware of the world around me…seeing things that would otherwise go unnoticed if anxiety and stress are allowed to prevail. Sometimes I see others get impatient at offices, lobbies, and waiting areas and I am grateful that this is not me….I know I am blessed to see these times as useful tools instead of filling my heart with anger or sorrow.

I encourage each one of you….be aware of how you wait. Be mindful during these times. If you find yourself feeling upset, stop and think how you could use the time in a more healthy and productive way. Think ahead. Have books, catalogs, writing tools available to help pass the time. Read, shop, make lists. Or just be. Look and really be aware of the world around you.

Breathe. Slow your breathing down and allow it to pass through your body and release tension or stress.

Waiting can be hard. But we can make it easier on ourselves with some choices on how we act and react. This is so important. Especially lately in a world that has us all waiting…..waiting for things to find normalcy, or at least some semblance of the world we once knew….or one we can again accept.

As we enter November 2020 I pray each of you can find healthy ways to wait. I pray at the end of your wait you are happy, healthy, prosperous and at peace . Blessings……