Reminiscing

August 4th, 2024 by Ariana Durling

I know we all reminisce at times. And mnemonic objects can definitely cause us to do just that. I am sure when asked if you are triggered to memories by any object you can name several. I would rattle off the scent or use of castile soap returns me to my maternal grandparents house. The rosary takes me to my paternal grandma’s backyard swing where we sat and said the prayers together with my cousin. And truthfully the list goes on.

Today my mnemonic object was a watermelon. A large seeded watermelon that I was chopping to put in the fridge. I can say that I will most likely never be able to see, buy or eat watermelon without thoughts of my father. Sometimes it is just a quick smile or thought, but today I allowed it to propel me back to my childhood.

Most anyone who knew my dad well would know he liked watermelon. We would go to a potluck or get together and on the way stop to purchase the largest one . Back then, there were not seedless varieties, you had to suffer with all those hard black seeds that permeated the flesh. He would take it whole, allowing the host or hostess to cut it whichever way they chose. His smile was infectious as he hoisted the large melon on his shoulder and entered the gathering. I suppose it was his signature passing dish.

But at home our counter always had a watermelon on one of those dish drainer trays near the sink. He cut off one end and usually claimed that end cap for himself, then he would cut slices which he cut in half and handed each kid a half moon with almost childlike glee. We would take off with the cool, sticky juices dripping down our arms. The knife remained there so anytime we needed a slice we would help ourselves. Summer wasn’t official until the watermelon graced the counter. I’m not sure I ever remember a “bad” watermelon in those days. Maybe they were just always ripe when we got them, or maybe my memories are tainted for the best. Either way the water melon holds a wonderful place in my heart.

Today I took my time and allowed the memories to flow. The sounds, smells, sights of my youth came flooding in. The smile of my dad, the laughter of friends and family as they arrived at our house, the hugs, the feelings of love and excitement as my mother handed us glasses and plates to adorn the kitchen table. The impromptu gatherings always seemed the most joyous as we embraced cousins and aunts and friends we hadn’t seen for extended periods.

I saw them all. As they unloaded from cars, carrying coolers and finding a chair in the shade. But mostly today I saw my dad, holding his piece of watermelon as he laughed and joked and welcomed everyone.

I admit I had tears. But these tears are just a reminder that I was blessed with love and given the gift of a happy childhood. My past is just that-my past. I don’t want to dwell there, but it can be cathartic to visit and recall the many blessings along the way. So many mnemonic objects, but for today it was a watermelon. And for that I am grateful.

No matter the object, allow happy memories to flow. Just don’t allow the melancholy to live and grow. Short visits only. Keep focusing forward friends. The best may very likely be yet to come.

*****I hope that your objects only flood in joy and love. If they don’t, you can acknowledge the feeling and visualize the situation as an observer. Step out of the story. Let it be a stranger in your role. Then take a deep breath, say “Goodbye” to that emotion. Say goodbye to the object. Clear your mind and then go to a happy memory. Choose that memory to replace the darker one. If you repeat this as many times as you need to, you can “let go” of some traumatic feelings. I encourage you to see a talk therapist, hypnotherapist or trusted practitioner to do this exercise if needed.